The Unsung Heroes of the Friendship World
The year after college I lived with two other girls on the top floor of a church rectory. One night it was thunder storming. Note: some people love thunderstorms, I am not one of them. So, on this particular rainy night, my two roommates and I were watching TV and frankly, I was having a lovely time. I was dry, I was safe, I was relaxing, in short: all was good. Suddenly, one of the girls jumps up, announces that she wants to dance in the rain and promptly darts out of the room. Before I have time to process the first girl’s speedy exit, roommate #2 decides that she, too, wants to dance in the rain. At this point, I’m left in the room thinking “oh gosh darn it, I really don’t want to but I should go join them because we live in a community and we are supposed to share experiences and I should be more spontaneous, right?” Thus, I found myself trudging down the three flights of stairs and going outside to find my roommates who are indeed frolicking in the rain. I called out to them that I was totally for them doing this…but would just feel a whole lot better if they moved out from underneath the electrical wire.
Now you may be like my roommates who live for moments where they have dance parties in thunderstorms. They thrive on spontaneity; they live for adventure. If you are one of these people, I think it is great. You make the world a more fascinating and unpredictable place and I love you for it.
However, this article is not for you. This article is for those of us who don’t go to the airport and hop on the next flight to wherever it may take us. It is for those of us who bring a pen to their high school reunion “just in case it’s needed” and it’s for those of us who asks their roommates to maybe move out from underneath the electrical wire during a thunderstorm. You are just as important in the friendship dynamic. The world needs people who will go out with their friends but will also make sure they have Waze, Uber and the number of a cab company stored on their phones.
We are the unsung heroes of the friendship world. When every girl growing up wanted to be Ariel from the Little Mermaid, we were honestly more like Sebastien. And you know what, maybe she should have listened to Sebastien when he advised caution before Ariel literally signed away her voice to gain legs. But no, look further than just the Little Mermaid. For every Batman incident, there was Alfred Pennyworth to deal with the repercussions. For every time Han Solo captained the Millenium Falcon, Chewbacca was by his side. Yes, Chewy might have been a bit on the hairy side but what he lacked for in looks, he made up for in support and loyalty. Our stories are replete with the characters who made sure their friends and families lived their best lives so why are we not as recognized for our contributions?
I am here to tell you that I see you. I notice when you make the reservations at a restaurant. I see you when you bring the snacks and drinks on a road trip. I watch you buy the birthday cards at the beginning of the month for everyone’s birthdays and I appreciate when you RSVP for events and actually arrive on time. You may not think you have the most glamorous role in the friendship, but you are just as necessary and important. Be proud of who you are and enjoy those snacks you thought to pack as you travel along this journey of life.