Hold, Please

Presently I am on hold with my health insurance and what I’m wondering is…who comes up with music you listen to while on hold?

I’ve determined that most of the time it is either classical or jazz music. My health insurance is going with the jazz route and I have presently listened to the same minute and a half clip approximately ten times, each time punctuated by a note at the end to “please keep holding, a customer service representative will be ready to assist you shortly.”

Now I want to know: was there a study done that showed that people will be much happier if they listen to a saxophone while waiting as opposed to the drums? Will they be much more amenable if they listen to the violin? Will they have simply been worn down and driven crazy by the wild flute-marimba jazz number you have going on and so will be less likely to raise a fuss when they finally reach someone on the line? Did you have a song choice of say five songs that you had to pick from? What is the motivation behind your musical selection?

And with health insurance, I feel like there is so much potential to like pepper in fun facts while the customer waits. Like let’s make this a Disney ride folks! Keep us entertained. Maybe tell us what Vitamin D is good for. Why is beneficial? Is MSG really that bad for you? These are all questions that could be answered while we wait, instead nooo…we get the same musical clip on repeat.

It’s like La La Land if the movie never ends. Now I grew up in the era of Sesame Street and pop songs, I’m not good with…