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Families
I find it interesting that people say “oh when are you starting a family?” when speaking to married couples. Are they not a family just the two of them? Do they not qualify as a family if they can’t or don’t want to have children?
People make up families all kinds of different ways. If I am a single individual in my mid-thirties, do I not have a family because I am not married with children? I’d like to count parents, siblings, cousins, and close friends who I consider family but the phrase excludes people like me. Frankly it makes me feel less of a person because I by virtue of the phrase — do not have a family.
My great-aunt was not married. She lived with her sister and her husband for as long as I can remember. Was the three of them not a family? I know people who have entered religious life — do they not have a family because they chose to enter a life that does not involve children?
Is a step-father any less of a father than a biological one who does not see his children? Is an aunt any less of a beloved family member even if she did not have any children? The incoming administration features two step-mothers who, by all accounts, are adored by their step-children. They did not birth them but they love them. I have a friend who has several family members who have told me that I’m considered part of the family. And the truth is I love them — I care about if the grandmother is sick, how a sibling is doing, how my friend is coping with life. I feel like I’m part of their family as well.
Because really love is what makes up a family, so your family can be just you and a spouse or can it be a whole village of people. So maybe with this incoming administration, we can be more open to what the definition of a family should be. I think Jill (aka Mom) and Kamala (Momala) would approve.